


Fragile

by sardonic_at_heart



Category: Seduce Me (Visual Novel)
Genre: Amnesia AU, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Sex, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Swearing, mostly angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-06-08 03:58:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15234816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sardonic_at_heart/pseuds/sardonic_at_heart
Summary: It’s been two years since the Demon War and two more years since Sam and Mika met. But even after all the trials and tribulations they had to endure, neither of them could ever prepare themselves for a drunken man driving into Mika’s car on a normal afternoon. Or how she suffers amnesia, forgetting those four years of meeting Sam and his brothers. To lose a loved one is tragic and painful. But to Sam it’s devastating, a cut so deep he feels it carving into his soul. He can’t imagine living without her, and as she stares at him with no clue of how important she is to him, he vows to make sure it will never happen.





	1. It's Sam

**Author's Note:**

> So, I’m finally doing a fic that requires all my time and care, and this time it won’t be three pages, which are the usual length with the fics I write. To say I’m proud of how this first chapter came out to be is an understatement. I used to write a LOT of angst in my teenage years (because let’s face it, we were all generally angsty teenagers at some point), and I decided to go back to my original roots in this series. It’s going to be a little cliche, of course, but hopefully with all the sprucing up it doesn’t seem that bad to you all.
> 
> Shout-out to my editor spacialstars who had me running proverbial laps on this giant chapter more than I actually work out in real life. I probably wouldn’t be able to do this without her, no exaggeration. And that’s it! Enjoy this chapter and look forward to the next one. You can also read this on my tumblr sardonic-at-heart (simply look for the fanfic tab in my blog and it should be under the Seduce Me section)

No matter how much Sam’s body ached from sitting in a chair for who knows how long, it paled in comparison to the sharp, heartbreaking pain in his chest watching an unconscious Mika laying on the hospital bed beside him. Their impromptu date in the city a week ago felt like it had been years. He was used to seeing his wife brimming with life at the curve of her lips and rose-tinted cheeks after a fit of laughter while she stared into his eyes with unbridled love and glee. And now…

A broken shudder escaped his lungs.

He was too frightened to finish the thought. He took her hand in his, placing delicate kisses on every stitch and held it, almost afraid of what would happen if he ever let go. At the back of his mind he was glad he was the only one in the room so no one could see how vulnerable and disheveled his appearance was. Not to mention his police uniform had been a wrinkled mess since he got off his shift. Leaning forward he brushed a few strands of hair from her face—beautiful even covered in more stitches—and laid his head to the side of the bed.

_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beep._

Silence engulfed the tense atmosphere, save for the steady sound of the monitor tracking his wife’s consistent heartbeat. The past few days of constant worry and stress almost made Sam forget how he was surrounded in immaculate white walls. He felt trapped in its hospitality, the disinfectant smell intruding his nose when he breathed it in, and was helpless to the person he wanted to help the most. In his bubble of solemnity it was as if time held no concept and seconds felt excruciatingly long.

He turned to a tentative knock at the door, a conflicted mixture of relief and exhaustion washed over him when his older brother and the rest of his siblings entered the room to form a semi-circle in front of the green eyed incubus. James looked to Mika on the bed, and then over to Sam, his amber eyes as worried as Sam felt. When he saw past the black haired man he noticed his other brothers were gazing at him with the same worried expression. Whether it was for Sam or Mika he couldn’t tell.

“Hey buddy,” Matthew broke the formation. Hunching his shoulders he walked over to him. His voice teetered between forced positivity and caution. “How are you doing today?”

With his other hand Sam swiped at his face in an attempt to alleviate some of his pent up emotions. Matthew asked him that every time they visited and he really wanted to tell him off about it, but he didn’t. He was too drained and angry and a whole bunch of other shitty things. But he would never want to take it out on his brothers.

“I’m fine.” His tone was sharp and rough. He forced down the cutting response festering inside him.

A hand touched his shoulder and he looked up at Damien. Indigo eyes stared into emerald as a faint smile dusted his lips and his hand gave a gentle squeeze. If Sam was in a better mood he would have mused at the opposite roles they had been playing: the youngest brother comforting the distressed older brother.

Clearing his throat he asked, “Anything new?”

Damien glanced at Mika then offered a sympathetic expression. “It’s the same as yesterday. Her mind is shrouded in fog. It’s almost a blank canvas.”

A blank canvas. There was no subtle way to describe someone in a coma, but it still bothered him all the same. The orange haired sibling averted his eyes and stepped away to give him space.

“Maybe you should step outside for a while,” James suggested. “Get some fresh air.”

Erik seemed to pick up on the verbal cue. “Yes, I agree. How about lunch, hmm? It’s on us.”

“Free food! That’s good enough to stretch your legs, right?” Matthew jumped in on the encouragement.

Besides Damien’s usual behavior, the way they were acting toward Sam was strange. The first day had been a blur because he had been focused on Mika, but in the remaining days they treated him like he was a bomb ready to explode. Of course he knew they were doing this to take the stress from his shoulders, but he felt a bit uncomfortable and awkward about the treatment.

The idea of taking a break both relieved and frightened him. What if she woke up and he wasn’t there to tell her everything was okay? Or something terrible happened while he went off to get a drink?

Sam’s palpable hesitation must have been obvious enough for Damien to interfere. “We’ll just eat at the cafe on the first floor, so it will only be two minutes away.”

Two minutes was still long enough for something to happen, but with the constant attention he was getting he had no choice but to go along with their suggestions. Setting his plaguing worry aside for later he finally stood up and trailed behind his siblings, glancing a few times at Mika until the door closed behind him.

On their way down to the cafe Sam tried to keep himself occupied by listening to his brothers talk but to no avail. Eventually his thoughts went back to Mika and the chatter around him seemed trivial. As they ate their meals with a pleasant atmosphere he couldn’t find it in himself to take a second bite of his lukewarm soup. It didn’t surprise him. He’d lost a good bit of his appetite.

When they returned to the corridor of Mika’s room her parents were already there. Laura was seated in one of the offered chairs next to the door, fingers interlaced to cover the anxious shaking in her hands. David was leaning against the wall several feet away, arms crossed and body much more stiff than usual. Despite David’s detached and stoic nature, Sam noted the way he was subtly glancing at the door and how he wrung his hands when he thought no one was watching.

His mother-in-law faced him, a gleam of concern in her glossy eyes as she attempted a small smile. His father-in-law caught his gaze, exchanged a nod, greeted his brothers with a wave, and went back to staring at the empty space a few feet from him. Sam’s brothers mumbled an excuse about getting refreshments after pleasantries were over so that they could leave him alone with his in-laws to talk in private.

“How are you feeling, Sam?” Laura peered at him with an attempt at a light tone.

“I’m…” he shoved his hands into his pockets, “doing okay.” He wished everyone stopped checking to see whether or not he was falling apart.

“Any news about the drunk driver?”

“He’s admitted to another hospital since your father wouldn’t stop harassing him.” Her voice spoke in a low and solemn volume. “But we’ll see him soon.”

As much as he would hate being in the same room of the man who caused his wife’s condition, Sam demanded retribution for what he did. The darker, angrier side of him hoped the court dropped him in jail where he belonged.

Other than his outbursts against that man, David had yet to show some sort of emotion toward Mika.

He shifted his eyes to David and lowered his voice. “And Dad?”

She sighed before saying, “I tried to convince him to see her, but he still won’t budge.”

He expected that much, but was disappointed at the same outcome. David accompanied his wife every day to visit his daughter, but always refused to step inside. It just didn’t make sense to him. Sure, his own father was homicidal and tyrannical, but at least Sam didn’t have to survive the Demon Lord alone as he grew up. Mika was David’s only child, and it seemed cruel and unfair that he couldn’t work up the courage to at least properly visit her at such a dire situation.

Sam didn’t know he was walking forward until Laura pulled him back by the arm. “Let’s just leave him for now.”

She said that yesterday. And the day before that.

“Why bother coming if he isn’t going to see his daughter?” He tried to bury his contempt through clenched jaw only to have his voice come out in a hiss.

“I know, I know. It’s just,” she sighed once again, more exhausted than the last, “a little difficult for him to take it all in. You have to understand that everyone has their own way of coping.”

He stared at her. Despite Mika inheriting most of her appearance from her father, there were a few things that made both mother and daughter so alike. A chuckle escaped him and she looked at him, puzzled with her head tilted to the side.

“Sounds like something Mika would say.” He allowed himself to form a genuine smile since he had been there.

Laura blinked several times in awe and a wide smile spread across her lips. She pulled him into a motherly hug and he wasted no time to hug her back. They pulled away a minute later to sit down. “How’s your work? Are you making Chicago a better place?”

Sam chortled. “Little by little, I guess.”

“Mika had told me about how you and your chief aren’t on good terms,” she said with the type of curiosity only a mother could gently portray. “Has it changed since then?”

He winced. If anything his relationship with his chief had been abysmal lately. “I’ve been avoiding him.”

She watched him, waiting for her son-in-law to explain. He strived to be honest with Mika, so it didn’t seem right to lie to her mother’s face.

“I leave work a few hours before my shift ends to visit Mika. Without permission.”

“Sam!” Laura reprimanded. “I understand your concern for my daughter, but you can’t skip out on your work like that.”

He slumped forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he looked down at his interlaced hands. Of course she would be upset. He expected she would, but the guilt of his impulsive decision still ached inside him.

“Why didn’t they give you time off?” She pressed. “I’m sure they would be understanding if they knew about Mika’s condition.”

Sam wondered the same thing. He was sure a few of his nosy coworkers would have told his chief about his incomplete shifts by now, but so far he hadn’t been told to take a few days off. Or get fired on the spot. It was all the more reason to avoid his presence in the meantime.

“I … don’t know. I’m sorry.” He gazed at the door, a heavy sigh dragging out of his lungs. “All I do know is that there’s no way I can focus on anything else except her.”

Her brown eyes took in his ragged expression and gave his hand an empathetic squeeze.

Thankfully she decided to change the topic.

His siblings returned while she was telling him about an addictive show she was currently watching and offered a few snacks they bought from the cafe. She excused herself to share the refreshments with her husband and the incubi brothers sent her off with a polite grin. In an effort to dissipate the tension, Matthew brought up one of his favorite memories baking with Mika in a casual and bright tone. Sam caught sight of David twitching to attention at the sound of his daughter’s name. And like a domino effect each brother reminisced their greatest moments they spent with their sister-in-law.

With a smile James recounted the times she came over to gift him fertilizer for his flowers. Erik was grateful for the boost in customers she sent to his suit shop and happily made dresses for her in return. And Damien spoke about how she taught him how to read and was one of his great supporters when he first announced writing children books.

During their conversation Sam noticed David was taking frequent glances at them. An expression slowly surfaced his father-in-law’s face that Sam couldn’t quite identify, but he hoped something good would come out of it.

They were in the middle of listening to Damien’s new idea for another children’s book when Laura and David walked up to them. His father-in-law’s countenance was more strained than usual. Sam shifted his curious expression to his mother-in-law.

“He wants to see her,” she answered, patting her husband’s arm in efforts to comfort him.

Sam, knowing how David was a man of a few words, merely nodded and opened the door for them, following shortly after they went inside. He looked back to see his brothers staring at him, and when he turned to James he gestured to go on without them.

It was never easy for him to see his unresponsive wife. Laura held back her cries and Sam could see the tears building in her eyes, whereas David remained next to the door even as his son-in-law and his wife approached his daughter.

Sighing almost to herself Laura occupied the left side of the bed as Sam stayed behind her. Her hand reached for Mika’s and squeezed gently. Sam wasn’t sure whether it was to reassure her comatose daughter or herself, but it was enough to calm her anxious posture.

“Hi, sweetie,” she stroked the side of Mika’s head with her other hand, careful to avoid the bandages. David was mildly uncomfortable, but he showed no signs of leaving. Sam let out a quiet, relieved sigh.

“Look, your father is here with me today.”

An ache lurched in his chest to hear the one sided conversation. The tense silence was a somber contrast to her cheerful tone. He placed a hand on her shoulder and, as if snapping out of her thoughts, Laura let out a shaky sigh before continuing.

“I know you must think he doesn’t care about you, but he does. People aren’t simple, and you and I understand that the most.

“Before all of this happened he would ask me how you’re doing because he didn’t know if you’d respond to him. It’s honestly silly to see him so worked up when he could have just texted you himself,” she chuckled.

“Your father was terrified when I got the call, you know? I had to hold him back from beating up the drunk man who crashed into your car.” Her chuckling lacked humor this time, shoulders quivering. “He doesn’t hate you, Mika, and he never has. He just wants to see his daughter smiling and talking again.”

She glanced up at Sam, and he wanted to break down and cry when he saw the desperation of a mother begging to life itself to bring her daughter back. “We all want to see you smiling and talking again.”

_Beep, beep, beep._

The sounds of the monitor changed. A surprised gasp mixed with cries of joy came from Laura when Mika’s hand weakly gripped hers. Muffled sobs echoed behind him and he was taken aback at the sight of David covering his face, his glasses haphazardly pushed to the top of his head.

Slowly but surely Mika stirred from her extensive sleep and opened her eyes. She blinked several times to get used to the fluorescent lights as David walked closer in a somewhat calmer state and Laura kissed her daughter’s hand over and over. After a few more seconds she looked around the room in a daze, like she didn’t know where she was.

She turned to Laura. A hint of happiness brought warmth to her pale face as she offered a reassuring smile in an attempt to calm her mother. The gesture only made her cry louder. David stiffened when Mika turned to him and she looked taken aback with wide eyes. They stared wordlessly at each other until he reached forward and placed a hand on the side of her face in an unsure motion. Her eyes shined with tears threatening to spill at any second.

Those same eyes, full of that same energy he fell in love with, landed on him last and pierced through his soul. His heart swelled at the sight of her, the tension and anxiety rolling off of his shoulders until he felt utterly spent. Peace washed over his tired body as well as the temptation to sink to the floor and cry, but he kept himself composed for his wife. Her mother glanced at them and moved away for Sam to get close to her.

“Knew I could count on you to bounce back.” He was smirking and leaning in for a kiss, when Mika jerked away from him.

Sam furrowed his brows. “What’s—”

“Mom?” Mika flicked her gaze to Laura, voice hoarse from lack of use. Confusion clouded her features. “Who is this man?”

It was like someone had dumped ice water over his head. Cold sweat formed at the back of his neck. He couldn’t swallow without it feeling like sandpaper scraping down his windpipe. The bliss he felt a moment ago turned its back on him and numbness spread throughout his body as a devastating replacement.

He stared at his wife while the stricken silence continued to echo around them. There was no trace of ingenuity in the turned down curve of her lips or the way her brows scrunched together.

He was a stranger to her.

“You … don’t know who he is?” Laura asked the exact question everyone had in mind, but didn’t have the courage to say it.

Mika paused, and then answered with a tilt of her head. “Is he the reason I’m here?”

Both a sob and a gasp strangled his vocal cords. Hot tears stung his eyes as he spun around and made a beeline to the exit. His mother-in-law called after him, but he didn’t stop until he was on the other side of the door with his back pressed against it, catching his breath.

“Sam?” Matthew’s voice pierced through the panic thrumming through his veins. Sam quickly wiped the tears away before they noticed. “What happened? Is Mika awake?”

He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t lie to them and say everything was okay now that she awoke from her coma. The image of her staring at him with no clue that they had been married for two years burned into the back of his eyelids.

Damien let out a startled gasp. “She doesn’t remember who Sam is.”

Heavier silence weighed upon them as Sam hung his head low, too weak to even keep himself from slumping to the floor. They were too stunned to help him up and he didn’t have any strength left to try.

“Is there any way we could help her?” Damien asked hesitantly.

“Yeah! There must be a spell or something to restore her memories!” Matthew added.

Sam’s head snapped up to James. He was the most knowledgeable out of his brothers, as much as he hated to admit it. But if it would get Mika to remember him he was willing to swallow his pride.

“Can you do it?”

Four pairs of eyes stared at their eldest brother, but his response opposed their expectation. “No. Don’t even think about it.”

There was already too much emotions roiling inside him, and the simple rejection was enough to shoot Sam back onto his feet. “The _fuck_ do you mean ‘no’?”

“I’m sure you know what ‘no’ means by now,” his amber eyes narrowed. His tone was strict like the numerous times he scolded Sam and Matthew when they argued too loudly or when he lectured him about something he did wrong like he was an insolent child. Condescending as he always was. “There’s a spell, but I won’t do it.”

Sam could grind his teeth to dust with the way he was clenching his jaw. He lost count how many times James had annoyed him with his unarguable logic years ago, but at this moment he wasn’t just upset. He was fucking pissed.

James continued when he noticed his brother’s anger was rising. “Memories run its own course. To tamper with it, let alone restoring them, will be dangerous.”

A deep, angry growl rumbled from Sam’s throat as he stepped closer, ready to seize James if he said anything else to provoke him. His other brothers stood by, stiff and nervous as they watched the scene before them.

“We’re talking about my wife. The granddaughter of the man who brought us here to start another life, in case you forgot. We owe him enough to at least keep her safe. Getting back her memories should be worth the risk.”

“You don’t have to remind me,” the black haired man spoke slowly. Anyone who eavesdropped on their conversation would have assumed he was speaking with a calm demeanor, but those who truly knew James could sense the ire underlying in every syllable. Clipped and purposeful. “I remember all too well of what he did. But I will not gamble Mika’s mind just because you can’t handle amnesia.”

“You son of a—”

“What James is trying to say is memories are already finicky as it is,” Erik softly interrupted, stepping in to face him. His younger brothers gently nudged James to move a couple steps back. “Once we cast the spell it would need something in exchange.”

Sam huffed. “If that’s all it takes, then I’ll do it.”

He saw James’ lips twitch open, but Erik spoke before he had the chance. “Sam. I’m saying what needs to be exchanged is her other memories to balance the spell. Yes, she will remember you, but she could lose much more important memories in return. Are you willing to deal with the consequences then?”

They gazed at Sam expectantly, waiting for him to make the right decision. What was the right choice when it involved the only love he had ever known? Was there even a “right choice”? Either cast a spell to bring back her memories that would lose bits of who she was or suffer through months, or maybe years, of those eyes he fell in love with look at him with no flicker of recognition.

He faced his back to his brothers and walked a few feet away, needing a moment to think. It was ultimately one of those “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situations. He knew what needed to be done, he really did, but it would break his heart. But at least she would still be herself, and that was what motivated him.

His hands grabbed a fist full of his hair and pushed it back from his forehead. He could imagine Mika patting down his hair for him and his heart hurt even more.

“She thought I was the reason she’s in there,” he nearly whimpered. “Could you believe that?”

“Sam.”

He steeled himself before facing James, but was surprised to see his expression was sympathetic. “I can only imagine what you’re going through right now. The thought of Iridessa forgetting every single memory we shared together would lead me to irrational decisions as well.”

It looked like he wanted to say more, especially when Sam expected him to say “but” and continue with his condescending attitude. However, James conceded with a sigh. “It’s going to be difficult from now on, but you don’t have to suffer alone. Know that we’re here for you. We’ll deal with this together.”

Sam gaped at him. He tried to recall the times James would willingly sit down on equal ground with him, but fell short of any examples. He mused at this comforting side of James he wasn’t used to, and before he realized it, a corner of his lips lifted in an infinitesimal smile.

“You finally said something that doesn’t make you sound like a prick.”

That earned him an eye roll, but the small grin on James’ lips gave away his true feelings.

“Now that that’s over,” Matthew opened his arms with a big smile. “Group hug!”

The green eyed incubus grimaced. “No.”

“Aww c’mon! It’ll make you feel better.” He sang, arms still open.

“Matthew does have a point,” said Erik with a smug smile of his own.

Sam glared at his older brother. He wasn’t helping.

James sighed. “Just let him have it, Sam. He won’t stop until he gets what he wants.”

He grumbled.

Matthew wiggled his fingers. “I don’t hear a no.”

“That wasn’t a yes,” Sam countered.

The black, poofy haired man slowly stepped closer as Sam walked back, when he realized Erik and James had blocked both sides to prevent him from escaping. His only path was behind him, but it was blocked by Damien, arms open wide and a warm smile graced his lips. He was flanked on all sides. Hope was lost.

He was squished in the center of it, face pressed against his brothers who were much too close for his comfort. Despite his stiff posture and grimace deepening, he felt touched at their attempts to lighten his mood, if it was just for a while. Much to his dismay they hugged for three long minutes before dispersing.

“It’s been an eventful day, don’t you think?” James’ words addressed everyone, but his gaze was directed at Sam. “We should all get some rest.”

Sam’s eyes trailed to Mika’s room, torn between leaving without saying goodbye or stepping back inside to meet her lost eyes again. Someone placed two hands on his shoulders and before he could look behind him to see who it was they gave a soft push toward the door. The sudden motion caught him unawares and he stumbled forward, almost tripping on his feet.

He whirled around to find his youngest brother standing behind him. “Damien, what the hell?”

“You make the most simplest decisions impossible, don’t you?” He shook his head with a slight smile, ginger hair swishing side to side. “Go on. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Stunned, Sam’s brows rose as his brothers waved goodbye. As they walked away from him Matthew looped an arm around Damien’s shoulders. Sam didn’t have to see his face to know that rascal was grinning ear to ear at the way Damien took charge.

And now he was left to his own devices, struggling to work up the courage to open that door. It wasn’t going to be easy, of course, but he didn’t want to end his day without seeing her. With bated breath and heart pounding in his chest he knocked and entered the room.

“Hey,” he said with an awkward pause. “Just wanted to say goodbye before I head home.”

He didn’t know where else to look, but somehow his eyes found its way to Mika. A couple of pillows were propped against her back in a relaxed position. When she noticed he was staring at her, she quickly looked down at her lap. Her long hair covered the sides of her face like a black curtain, a nervous tic she did when she encountered someone she didn’t know.

Laura stood up with a smile and offered a comforting hug. Before he moved away, she held him back and whispered, “It’s going to be okay, sweetie. We’ll work this out together.”

Sam pulled back to stare at her and smiled. No matter how difficult the obstacle in her way seemed, she would always face it with an optimistic attitude. She encouraged him with a nod and he hesitantly ambled over to his wife.

“Guess I’ll be going then,” he wanted to hug her, or at least kiss her goodbye, but settled with a handshake. “See you tomorrow?”

He could see the gears turning in Mika’s head, wondering whether or not she should trust him as she stared at his outstretched hand. A subtle motion caught his eye and he saw her right hand touch her left, her forefinger and thumb absentmindedly playing with her wedding ring. She glanced down in surprise at the emerald gem placed on an intricate silver band adorned with diamonds, and for a moment Sam held his breath, hoping she would remember something— _anything_ —about him.

But the spark of recognition he hoped for in her eyes didn’t have the chance to ignite as she placed her hand in his and shook it in a polite gesture.

“Sure thing, uh,” she frowned, “Sam, was it?”

Sam swallowed. He didn’t want another repeat of his last reaction, so he merely nodded with a slight smile. “Yeah. It’s Sam.”

He let go of her hand and already missed her warmth against his skin. David stood at her bedside, arms crossed and same stoic expression frozen on his face. He locked eyes with Sam, saying nothing for a few seconds before relenting with a sigh.

“Make sure you come back tomorrow,” his voice was gruff from crying, but he continued with a commanding tone as if it didn’t bother him. “And don’t arrive late. We’ll expect you to be here on time.”

Sam was astonished at his response, and then immediately recovered. “Yes, sir.”

With a final wave goodbye to everyone, he stepped out of the room and made his way to the elevator to the level where he parked his car. His in-laws and brothers insisted he return tomorrow thinking he wouldn’t have the courage to see her again. But he wasn’t planning to give up in the first place.

He would _never_ give up on her, and he knew if the situation was the other way around she would do the same, even if it hurt along the way to recovery. And when he saw her touch the very item that symbolized their bond to each other, something inside him clicked.

He would find a way. For her.

The drive home felt longer than usual, even with the radio on to distract him. But as he locked his car and went through his front door, the echo of his footsteps against marbled floor reverberated throughout every room and open space in an almost haunting ambience. The atmosphere around him lacked the same vibrancy when his wife occupied these halls.

His feet felt heavier in every step as he climbed the stairs. He was dimly aware of the sunlight quickly fading through the closed windows, but he trudged toward his bedroom even though the lengthening shadows obscured his path. Languished and exhausted, he entered the familiar room and hit his knee against something metal a few steps away from the doorframe.

“Oh,” Sam breathed as he turned on the lights. “Hey, buddy.”

His three-year-old dog danced around in circles in his playpen begging for his attention, bright and unaware of the stressful day he had to endure. He kicked off his shoes and flopped onto his silk sheets with a tired sigh that seemed to last an eternity. He gazed sightlessly at the ceiling, lacking the energy to take off the rest of his uniform.

Something thumped onto the bed and for a second Sam thought it was Mika … but it was their dog, padding his way to him and laying down to occupy the left side. The side that he left empty in a force of habit.

Then it hit him.

All the emotions he placed on the back burner, hidden from his parent-in-laws and his brothers. The truest, deepest feelings that stirred inside him until he couldn’t bear the overwhelming anguish any longer.

Streams of tears trickled down his cheeks like a hot river. Frantic sobs racked through his chest and lungs. He didn’t bother keeping his voice down as he cried out over and over again until his throat hurt. Sam turned to the side and curled into a ball, until sniffling was all he could do.

He never felt so alone.


	2. Very Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“So,” she cleared her throat suddenly and fiddled with a few strands of her hair. “I know this is going to sound like I don’t believe you, but … are we happy together?”_   
>  _Sam turned to Mika, a fond smile on his lips yet his heart ached. “Yeah.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited and proofread by **spacialstars**
> 
> You can also read this chapter on my Tumblr blog! www.sardonic-at-heart.tumblr.com

“Was staying up the entire night _really_ necessary?” Mika stretched out a yawn. “You could’ve woke me up, you know.”

“And miss out on playing video games with you? Never. Besides,” Sam effortlessly hauled himself over the scallop tiled edge and helped her off his back once they were on proper footing, “you’re a heavy sleeper. It’s like waking up a log.”

“Logs don’t sleep.”

“Well, if they did you’d be one.”

He smirked when she threw a harmless glare and punched him lightly in the arm. The rooftop’s slanted slopes were fairly safe to walk on, but it didn’t stop Sam from leading her with a protective hold around her waist. They sat facing the rear of the mansion: Mika cross legged and slightly leaned back. Sam’s left leg stretched to the edge of the roof, one hand down to keep balance while the other rested lazily on his propped right knee.

Their home was a little ways away from the city lights and skyscrapers, so it was easier to view the sunset and sunrise from where they sat. Clouds of bluish-gray decorated the sky as miniscule streaks of both yellow and tangerine crept at the edge of the horizon. Its bright colored fingers slowly spreading to paint the rest of the world the same shade.

A chilly wind breezed past and, on cue, he draped a blanket on her shoulders. He knew her pajama shirt and pants weren’t enough to keep her warm outside, so he came prepared. His girlfriend flashed a grateful smile and then offered half of it, right arm raised in mid-action.

“Don’t need it,” he shook his head.

She pursed her lips in that adorable pout he could never refuse. “Can’t you just accept this romantic gesture and cuddle with me?”

Chuckling low in his throat, Sam shifted his body closer until she was able to wrap them into a warm cocoon of cotton. Her arms wove around his arm and she released a contented sigh when her head found a comfortable position pressed against his shoulder. A saccharine smile touched his lips as he felt his heart warm at the sight. They watched the sun waking from its sleep, comfortable in their quiet bubble.

“So what’s the reason for this?” She questioned just as vibrant mixes of gold, pink, and orange flooded away the blue. A quarter of the sun peeked out of the horizon with its warm glow.

He shrugged his free shoulder. “Thought you could use some time to celebrate surviving another agonizing finals week.”

Of course he wanted to celebrate her small victory, but that wasn’t the reason why he brought her there. A month ago he entertained the thought of proposing to her, and ever since their recent second year anniversary, it occupied his mind with earnest consideration. To the point where he had stood in front of an engagement ring store so long, one of the employees went up to him and asked if he was okay.

He didn’t want to _just_ offer her a ring and ask her to marry him. It needed to be special so that she could look back on that day and remember every single detail from beginning to end. It plagued his mind so much that he couldn’t sleep. The thought weighed on him day and night and then, even after a multitude of decisions, he was here with her. Wide awake and still lacking a proposal idea.

Mika rose her head to look up at him and lifted a brow. Suspicion gleamed in her eyes. “We usually get pancakes the next morning after because it’s our tradition.”

Sam tried to make a few casual gestures using his hand even though he felt extremely nervous. “Sometimes you have to break them.”

“By staying up until I can’t speak without yawning?” She emphasized the last word with another extended yawn.

He scoffed. “No.”

She blinked, and when he didn’t say anything else she angled her head down and frowned like she was saying, “Well?”

“Do you know why I like to watch the sun set and rise?” He answered her question with one of his own, directing his gaze back to the scenery before him.

A smirk curved at his lips when she groaned. “Why, Sam?”

He let her wait impatiently for a few seconds and then spoke again. “When there are times where I feel upset or feel like shit, this reminds me that no matter what crappy obstacles got in my way, I know the next day has potential to be better.

“And that’s why I wanted to show this to you, you know?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “You suffered like hell for your final exams, but it’s a new day and you can finally relax.”

When he looked toward her he found her staring at him. Her eyes were wide with clarity as if she saw him in a different light and then softened into admiration. Such an honest expression was enough for Sam to look away, the warm heat of embarrassment crawling up to his neck and face.

“D-don’t look at me like that!”

“Like what?” She asked, but he could hear the smugness in her voice.

“You know what I mean.”

She giggled and it calmed him a little to hear the soothing chimes of his girlfriend’s laughter ringing in both his ears and heart. “I’m sorry.”

He turned back to her when he felt himself cool down. Lack of sleep was starting to show under her eyes and she could barely keep them open, but as the sun greeted the morning sky and illuminated every curve of her features, it engulfed her flaws like it didn’t exist. He sucked in a quiet yet startled breath at the sight of her angelic features and pure smile.

Well, shit. He could throw away all the decisions of making a fancy proposal and do it right now. This moment felt right: Sitting peacefully on the rooftop, the rising sun as their only witness, and away from any prying eyes with their curious stares. All he had to do was reach into his right pocket of his sweatpants and—

“Sam?”

His consciousness snapped back to see Mika staring at him concerned. She sat between his legs, hands placed on his bare chest the way she always did to calm him. The blanket that kept them safe from the cold now pooled around their feet at the change of position.

“Are you okay? You’re shivering.” She mistook his nerves for lack of warmth and hurriedly wrapped them into the blanket again. He should have told her that wasn’t the case, but the way she stepped in to protect him from the chill brought a boyish grin to his face.

His girlfriend noticed his expression. “Okay,” she put her hands on her hips, her eyes narrowed and that same pout formed on her lips. “Now I feel like there’s a joke I’m not getting. What the heck is wrong with you?”

“Nothing,” he grinned as she gave him a few playful slaps to his chest. “Just thought you looked really cute.”

And then her cheeks blossomed into a blush. Good. Served her right for teasing him.

He pressed a kiss on her forehead and turned her around. “You’ll fall if you keep sitting that way, doofus.”

“Yeah, yeah,” a yawn broke her intentional defiant tone. “If I weren’t so tired I’d get you back.”

He hummed, voicing his doubt on her half-baked threat. She would still react the same way even when she had a good night’s rest.

His arm hooked around her waist, gently pulling her down with him until their backs rested against the tiles for a better view and to avoid any strain on their necks. He beckoned her closer with a nudge and she placed her head on his chest, snuggling to his warm furnace of a body until their legs tangled with each other.

He kissed her on the top of her head this time and she traced abstract circles on his bare skin. A pleasant shiver ran through him at the light touches she made. Adjusting the blanket a little, his hand shifted up to her back and his fingertips drew circular motions to soothe her. She hummed low and quiet, a sound he knew she made when she felt beyond relaxed and pampered.

They remained in that position as no words passed between them. After a while, Mika stopped her ministrations to lay her palm to his chest, breathing steadily as Sam took a few moments to recollect his thoughts.

It was almost as if this was a well executed plan. No misfortune spoiled the beauty of this early morning and he was reminded for the millionth time why he fell in love with her. He had the ring, his girl in his arms, and a breathtaking view that would solidify their memories when they looked back on this day. Now all he had to do was say those four words.

“So,” he tried to sound casual and cleared his throat.

“It’s been two years, huh? Time sure flies and all that.” He tried to pull off laughing casually until it trailed off and sounded pathetic.

He groaned at his stupidity. “What the hell am I even doing? Look, let me just … start over.”

If he was planning to do this he had to do this right. Now was _not_ the moment to screw up and trip on his words.

This time he took in a deep breath like one would do before jumping off a cliff into deep water. “For a long time, way before we met, I had been known as a brute or a monster. No one treated me ever as their equal, let alone spoke to me as if I belonged. But then I met you and, well, I stole your first kiss and I am _still_ sorry for that.

“And when you said you loved me the very first time? Shit, I still think about it, sometimes I dream about it, and it makes me _proud_ to be the one you chose out of all my brothers. Because someone so important to me didn’t treat me like I’m a monster. I’m just Sam, the demon who had fallen head over heels for you and continues to fall in love with you every single day. Who belongs to you as much as you belong to me.”

He felt his heart racing like a stallion as he got himself ready to take out the ring. “I love you, Mika, and I can’t imagine a life where you and I aren’t together. And that’s why I want to seal our bond. Will you—”

A soft snore interrupted him. No fucking way.

It was just as he feared when he peered down. Mika was asleep in his arms, mouth slightly open as more snoring came out of it. He could be upset if he wanted, but her sleeping face always made him smile no matter what.

“Tch. My sleepy doofus.” The brown haired man brushed a few strands of hair from her face, his stare lingering on her for a while before he enjoyed the scenery as the sun climbed high into the sky.

Sam made a mental note to make sure she was wide awake the next time he proposed to her. That way she wouldn’t fall asleep on him again.

 

He sat at the edge of the rooftop, the morning light cast a bright shine on his face. It was a sharp contrast to the raw emotions tearing him apart. Birds chattered in the distance as he heaved a weary sigh. Even after his ordeal the night before, the world continued with its daily practices.

He had tried to get some semblance of rest before his next shift, but the overwhelming anxiety of facing his wife again stole away any intention to sleep. And so he found his way to his favorite spot to calm himself for a few minutes and then possibly go back to his empty bed. Five minutes became thirty. Thirty minutes became an hour. Hours eventually passed and he was still here, awake and too worried to even close his eyes for a couple of minutes.

The shrill of his alarm startled him from his thoughts and he groaned, reaching for his phone. His morning shift. Yet another example of how the world went on without him.

Sam trudged to the front of the mansion’s rooftop, carefully dropping down to land on the balcony and then locked the doors once he stepped inside. With another sigh he made his way back into his bedroom to get ready for work. As much as a small part of him wanted to save himself from more heartache, he found his feet stepping toward any subtle hints of her existence around the room. Anything to feel closer to the memories he could only remember of their time together.

Her favorite blouse was lazily draped on the chair of her vanity desk, makeup and accessories strewn about in a rush. The semi-organized side of her clothes in their shared walk-in closet as opposed to his haphazard way of shoving clothes into drawers and on hangers of his side. The lingering smell of her lavender scented detergent pervaded the air and it both ached his heart and put a smile on his face because it was her. Call him a masochist, he didn’t care.

Everything reminded him of her and for a tiny moment, however insignificant it was, he felt like the world around him wasn’t shattered like glass and he was waiting for her to come back from school again. But he knew better than to retreat into his own fantasy, and faced the cruel reality awaiting him.

He took Sammy for a walk around the mansion for him to do his business and chase the birds that had the misfortune of walking on the grass. Even though Sam felt like utter shit, the excitable Rottweiler never ceased to make him smile at the most simple movements he made. It was that pure innocence and youthful curiosity that made Sammy irresistibly adorable.

After he made sure Sammy had food and water in his playpen and did the necessary steps to prepare for work, he locked the front door and plopped into his truck, the engine roaring to life. Commuting to work went by in a daze and soon he found himself walking through the doors of his workplace.

The Chicago Police Department of this district was up to its daily atmosphere: both chaotic and systematic, two opposing traits somehow coexisting. Sam couldn’t grasp how they fit together when he became a police officer and he still lacked understanding to this day.

He felt his coworkers’ eyes on him as he walked toward his desk but he ignored them. If they knew better they won’t bother him throughout the day. Hopefully, he thought as he glanced surreptitiously around the room, his chief wouldn’t be in at this time.

“Anderson.”

Just as he was about to sit down, a gruff voice called him from behind. Straightening his stance he clenched and unclenched his fists and then turned around to find the very person he was trying to avoid, leaning against the doorway of his office with crossed arms and his face scrunched in the same stern look he gave everyone.

The humdrum of conversation around him came to a complete stop.

“My office.” When Sam didn’t budge, his chief added, “Now.”

His chief followed suit once he walked inside, and then closed the door behind them. The air was heavy with tension and for a moment none of them spoke. They stood staring at each other, unblinking with a challenging look to see whether the other would lose the staredown. The older man walked to his desk, adjusting his name plate. It shined in the fluorescent light, spotless of any dust that covered _Captain Timothy Deckard_.

Placing his palms flat against the desk, he said, “You look like shit.”

Sam said nothing, lips pressed into a thin line.

Deckard shook his head and sat down with a grunt. His fingers drummed the surface as he stared up at Sam. Waiting. His face gave nothing away to the oncoming lecture Sam assumed he was about to receive.

“A week,” his voice was a firm reprimand. “You leave your shifts without telling me about this and I have to find out from everyone else. This isn’t high school, this is your _job_.”

Sam could feel the spike of annoyance jabbing him as he looked away and cross his arms.

“Think this is a joke, Anderson?” There was a pause, and then an aggravated huff. “I’m talking to you.”

“I hear you just fine.” Sam snapped his attention back to Deckard.

He wasn’t amused at his response.

“I want you to tell me why you thought it was okay to leave on your own time. Or else you won’t be paid for today.”

Sam gaze hardened. “Are you threatening me?”

“Sam Anderson,” he leaned back in his chair, frustration and exasperation evident when he sighed. “All I’m asking from you is cooperation. I need you to be honest with me.”

The green eyed incubus closed his eyes, breathed in slowly, and exhaled. He didn’t need this. He was still reeling from last night and his lack of sleep wasn’t doing anything to better his mood. He couldn’t handle another problem to add to his stress.

“You want the truth?” He conceded with a resenting tone. “Fine. Some inebriated fuck thought it would be cool to drive instead of calling a taxi and crashed into my wife on the highway. That whole week you’re talking about? I was making sure she was still alive every day because she was in a coma. And …”

He looked away as he felt the emotions he suppressed coming back to him like a giant wave, but forced it down with a swallow. “When she woke from her week-long coma, she didn’t know who I was. The person who matters the world to me saw me as a stranger. We went through so much together, and now she doesn’t remember what my name is.”

For a few moments there were no words between them. Whether it was because his chief was thoughtful enough to give him time to recover or he didn’t know what to say, Sam wasn’t sure. When he finally grasped control of his emotions again he found Deckard staring at him, gaze significantly softened with sympathy.

“I’m sorry.” He paused. “You must be tired of people telling you that by now.”

Sam sighed. “I’m used to hearing it. They can say sorry all they want, but they can’t understand what I’m going through.”

Deckard considered his words and smiled with no trace of mirth. “I understand. Not the exact situation you’re in but I know what it’s like to lose someone.”

He reached for the picture frame he kept on his desk sitting on the upper right corner away from all the piles of paperwork and turned it around for him to see. Despite the slowly fading colors of the photograph, he could make out a woman in her late thirties, eyes crinkled in the middle of a laugh as her lips curved in an open mouthed smile. A younger, much spirited version of Deckard held her waist from behind with a smile of his own.

No one in the department ever had the guts to ask him what happened to his wife. It was long before he ended up in Chicago, before he became Chief of Police. The story was too personal for someone like Sam to ask about, so he didn’t.

“You can leave a few hours early today,” Deckard changed the subject suddenly. “Just notify me the next time you need time off so that I can find someone to take your place. Or I will have to do something about your job the next time you do it again.”

Sam faltered. He was expecting to get fired from his behavior, or some kind of warning. “So—”

“Be seeing you tomorrow, bright and early to make up for all those times you left without permission.”

He didn’t know what else to say. Turning his back he walked to the door, a hesitant hand on the doorknob. For a moment Sam struggled to find the right words to say, but when he did it was a whisper.

“Thank you.”

The beginning hours of his shift passed by without much excitement. He patrolled his assigned area and kept people who were disruptive on the streets on their best behavior. To his relief there weren’t any drastic calls needing his attention, just a few about noise complaints and neighborly spats.

And now it was lunch. He could have sworn it was thirty minutes into his shift the last time he checked the time. He was about to step out of his patrol car to pick up a quick bite when the familiar sound of rock music blared from his pocket. A three letter name flashed continuously on his screen and he rushed to answer it.

“Mom?” He sounded more panicked than he should have been, but he had a right to worry. “Is Mika okay?”

A weak chuckle reached his ears. “Good afternoon to you too, Sam.”

His mother-in-law would often greet him with mirth, but from the way her voice had lacked her usual energy, he knew something was wrong. He caught the sound of her sniffling and he hesitated for a few seconds.

Normally he wasn’t the type to initiate conversation when there was crying involved because tears made him uncomfortable, but it was Laura and he respected her as much as he respected her daughter. The least he could do was lend an ear.

“What happened?” He asked gently.

“She’s,” Laura took a moment to breathe a stuttering intake and she spoke again. “They took Mika through tests to see what was wrong with her memory.”

His palms were clammy as he listened. “And?”

The long agonizing silence pressed against his chest. It was a countdown for the inevitable truth to which he wasn’t ready to hear. Yet he strained to listen for any sort of sound on the other end, the frantic palpitation of his heart booming in his ears.

“The last thing she remembers is attending her grandfather’s funeral.”

Sam leaned his head against the seat and closed his eyes. He knew her amnesia had been bad, but he wasn’t expecting it would take away four years from her. Four years of meeting him and his brothers and falling in love with each other. Everything they shared had been gone in an instant as if they didn’t exist to her, and he was the only one who remembered it all.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie.” She sobbed when he hadn’t said anything.

“Why are you sorry?”

“My daughter remembers who her parents are, but not the one who loves her the most. It’s … You must be going through so much pain right now that it breaks my heart.”

In that moment he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. This whole time he thought she was crying for her daughter when she was worried about how he would take the news. Sam didn’t deserve such a wonderful and kind hearted mother-in-law.

“What am I going to do without you, Mom?” He said softly, almost as if he were talking to himself. “You’ve just done so much for me that I—”

“Don’t you start with that,” she scolded gently and this time her chuckle had a bit of humor in it. “My daughter is the happiest when she’s with you and I thank the stars above that you love her with all your heart.”

He could try to deflect her gratitude, but he knew that she could keep going for as long as she wanted and he would eventually lose to her. Admitting defeat was the best plan of action.

“And I just want you to know that you’re not alone, okay? If you need someone to talk to, remember that I’ll always be there for you.”

“Thank you.” He could feel his eyes start to water. “I’m going to be okay. It might take a while, but I’ll get there. Whatever it takes to be there for Mika.”

“I know you will, Sam.” He could hear the smile in her words and he felt marginally better.

“What time will you visit?” She veered the topic a bit, clearing her throat.

“In an hour from now,” he placed his free hand at the side of the steering wheel, fingers drumming against it. “My chief gave the go-ahead.”

“You talked it over?” Her voiced perked at the news. “That’s good! I’m glad you worked it out.”

A smile curved his lips. “Me too.”

There was a small gap of silence in their conversation when there was nothing new to be said, and then Sam spoke again. “Did you … tell her who I am?”

“Yes…” A pause. “And no.”

He remained silent so that she could gather her thoughts.

“I told her you’re her husband, but I didn’t tell her anything else to overwhelm her. I want Mika to take her time adjusting to her situation before she tries to recover her memories.”

“How did she take it?”

“As usual, she felt guilty that she couldn’t remember you,” she said amused.

He laughed. “Always thinking about others before herself. One of the reasons why I love her.”

He felt his cheeks grow a little warm as he said it, but he didn’t regret his words. Laura knew how much he loved Mika, after all.

“Sweetie?”

“Yeah?”

“She might be a bit hesitant to know you, so please don’t be discouraged.” He was about to say he wasn’t intending to, when she continued before he had the chance. “It takes her a while to trust people, but she trusted you all these years and I know she’ll trust you again.”

There was that warm optimism of hers. “It’s good to know you have a lot of faith in me.”

“And because I have a lot of faith in you I know you’ll both pull through.” She chuckled wholeheartedly despite the tired tone underlying her voice. “And if you think that’s not enough just do what you did when you first met.”

Sam cringed at the memory of their first impression of each other. Instead of telling Mika’s parents that he forced her to kiss him for energy, he gave them a vague explanation that one misunderstanding led to another and all of a sudden they were making out. He wanted to hide under a rock when Laura often brought it up, but Mika wouldn’t let him hear the end of it.

“Let’s hope not. But thanks, Mom.”

Her laughter increased. “Of course, sweetie. See you soon.”

 

\-----

 

After leaving work and sitting through the agonizingly long traffic, he checked in at the reception desk and ambled his way to Mika’s room. He had been rehearsing what to say to her on the way there, but as he neared his destination he still felt unsure. What if she didn’t like him because he chose the wrong words? Or what if she decided not to trust him because he did something to offend her?

Oh, for fuck sake. He sounded like a high school boy worried that his crush would reject him at prom. Maybe he could start by initiating small talk.…

He was a little surprised to see only Damien and Matthew sitting in the hallway, talking to each other in a casual conversation. They turned to Sam and spoke when he came closer.

“Erik called to say he’s busy at work so he won’t be able to come,” Damien answered his thoughts.

Matthew added, “And James is booked with a bunch of company meetings the whole day.”

Sam nodded. “You heard about Mika?”

“Yeah. Her parents told us when we got here.” Matthew’s gaze lingered at the door and then turned to his brothers, brows slightly furrowed. “We would have gone in … but now that she doesn’t remember who we are and all, we were waiting for you to show up. So you could come with us.”

Damien nodded in agreement. His hands nervously wrung the ends of his light brown jacket.

Sam assessed his younger brothers with concern and sighed to himself. Even though she had befriended him and all of his brothers, Mika gravitated toward the younger two from the beginning. He will always be thankful for all the days she helped Matthew with dinner and took her own time off her schedule to teach Damien how to read. They were always the best around her, and Sam had no doubt that seeing her current state hurt them almost as much as it hurt him.

“You, uh,” Matthew took a second glance at his older brother’s face and blinked, “don’t look too good.”

Sam stifled a yawn crawling out of his throat. “I’ll be fine.”

“You didn’t sleep last night, did you?” Damien’s already soft expression softened more as he peered at his older brother’s face.

He sighed again and ran a hand through his hair. Was it that obvious? “Not even a wink.”

The green eyed incubus moved toward the door, his hand raised to knock, and then … he hesitated. This was the last moment he had alone before he could see Mika again yet he couldn’t find it in himself to progress further. One question above anything had burned and haunted him at the back of his mind only to reappear as he stood in place. Did she even _want_ to see him? He could never forget the way she shied away from him, apprehension in her hunched posture.

A hand squeezed his shoulder in comfort and he didn’t have to look behind him to know it was Damien. Whether it was his intention or not, the simple gesture shook Sam from his dread. Even if his heart felt like exploding, he had promised himself to keep going for her. He would find a way to get her to open up to him again, and it needed to start with opening that door.

Damien gave him an encouraging pat and Sam took in a deep breath, letting it out in a slow exhale. “Let’s go in.”

He knocked and waited a few seconds before stepping inside. The blinds were drawn back, sunlight pouring in as the view of skyscrapers and afternoon sky dispelled the dreary sight of the hospital room. It was one of Mika’s habits to window-gaze, and it brought him an immense relief at the familiarity. Sam lost count of the times he caught her looking out the window at home, her distant eyes and peaceful countenance made it impossible for him not to stare. He didn’t even realize how much he missed it until that moment.

Mika turned toward the door, her daydream look fading to curiosity as she met his gaze. The afternoon sunlight cast behind her, the wisps of her illuminated black hair gave her an angelic appearance that threw Sam’s focus out the window. He was mesmerized by the sight before him, until Laura turned to him and stood with open arms and a welcoming smile.

She returned to her seat when they parted. “Did you have lunch already?”

“‘Course,” he exchanged a wave with David. Standing beside Laura, he held his usual rigid posture and crossed arms. His lips were set in that stubborn frown, but Sam could see a bit of warmth in his stony countenance.

He turned to Mika. With a hesitant wave he mumbled, “Hey…”

“Hi.” His wife offered a small and polite smile.

She tilted her head to the side and looked past him. Of course. He had to remind himself that his brothers need to be reintroduced.

He scratched the back of his head, the awkwardness weighing on him more than he would like to admit. “These are my younger brothers.”

The two brothers straightened their backs to attention. Matthew looked like he wasn’t sure whether to smile or keep a serious countenance while Damien stood abnormally stiff with his lips twisted between a frown and a smile.

“Hi, Mika,” Matthew walked closer and made a gesture to hug her, decided against it, and then dropped his open arms to his sides. “I’m Matthew.”

His youngest brother began with a stutter. “A-and I’m Damien.”

Mika looked back at them and returned her gaze to Sam. He could tell she was struggling to ask something, so he answered it for her. “We’re all adopted.”

“Oh.” Her green eyes widened a fraction. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” he dismissed her apology with a wave.

Mika, with the same polite smile she gave Sam, offered her hand to them. They took turns to shake it. “Nice to meet you both.”

Matthew struggled to keep up a genuine smile as he scratched his head. “Yeah. It’s nice to meet you … again, I guess?”

Her mouth formed an “O” and nodded in understanding. “Of course. I’m married to your brother, so I must have met you a few times.”

“No, it’s more than that,” Damien interrupted, but looked sullen when he realized how sharp his tone had sounded. “We’re really close. You’re like a sister to us.”

Just as she opened her mouth to speak, Damien apologized and walked out, his hand shielding his eyes. The blue eyed incubus glanced at his retreating brother and back at Mika.

“We’ll see you later!” He waved goodbye to everyone and then quickly followed Damien. The door closed behind him with a soft click.

Sam cleared his throat to ease some of the tense atmosphere. “Don’t worry about him. He’s just a little … sensitive right now.”

She looked down and picked at her nails. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t,” he struggled to find the right words and then took in a deep breath. “Please don’t say you’re sorry.”

What else could he say to comfort her? He just felt useless and lost.

Mika turned to him and his breath hitched. Her green eyes ensnared him where he stood. They may have the same eye color, but to Sam, hers held the tranquility and happiness of a lush meadow, grass slightly stirring in the wind. It was overwhelming and beautiful every time he looked into her loving eyes. But as she peered into his with such vulnerability and a look of helplessness that mirrored his own, he could feel his heart breaking a thousand times over.

He felt someone else’s gaze on him and when he turned, Laura was glancing at both of them with a thoughtful expression. Raising his brow, he gave David an inquisitive look. His father-in-law was just as puzzled.

“I think we should go,” she stood up from her seat. “Mika went through test after test the entire morning and she must be tired.”

“Already? Visiting hours aren’t over yet.” Mika insisted.

Anxiety rose inside him. “Yeah, I just got here. Why don’t you stay for a little while longer?” He didn’t trust himself to be alone with her at the risk of making her uncomfortable.

“I just remembered that we have something important to do at home. Right, honey?” Laura flashed a wide smile at her husband and nudged his side with her elbow.

David brows furrowed. “I don’t think—”

“Your father doesn’t think it should be delayed any longer, so we need to go as soon as possible.” She packed her belongings and Sam scrambled to help.

“I’ll walk down with both of you.”

“No, don’t be silly! You should stay to keep your wife company.” His mother-in-law had a scheming glint in her eyes. He narrowed his eyes when he realized what she was planning to do.

“But Mika needs rest,” he turned to his wife. “Right?”

“Um. Uh.” She stammered, conflicted. Laura must have known Mika would be pressured into letting him stay and now he felt terrible backing her into a corner.

“See? Mika doesn’t mind.” Laura grabbed her confused husband by his arm and walked toward the door.

“Mom!”

“Mom!”

Sam and Mika turned to each other.

“Have fun, you two!” And like that she was gone.

Awkward silence. It was so loud he could hear it ringing in his ears. After these four years, he never thought he could actually feel more socially awkward than the first time he realized his crush on Mika. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, feigning interest in the bland walls and hospital equipment.

They didn’t say anything for two minutes and the silence was becoming excruciatingly unbearable. Sam trailed his reluctant gaze back to Mika and noticed she was already staring at him. They looked at each other in surprise and he quickly turned away. A wave of embarrassment heated his cheeks.

“Sam?”

“Yeah?” He answered a little too eagerly, but she didn’t seem to notice.

“I … just want to say that yesterday was really confusing for me and I’m—”

“Mika.”

As much as he tried to hold it in, his strained expression turned his lips into a grimace. He shut his eyes and covered his face with his hands in the hope of preventing himself from crying right then and there. He had to remind himself to be strong for her and took a few moments to breathe calmly before removing his hands and bringing his attention to her again.

“Listen. When you’re with me, don’t feel the need to apologize for things that aren’t in your control. For things that were never your fault. Okay?”

She opened her mouth to say something and he stared at her, knowing she was going to apologize again. Hesitantly she stopped and resorted to fixing her wedding ring to distract herself. The gesture caught his eye, his heart pounding against his chest as he took in a calming breath.

“Okay,” she conceded.

He needed to make this right. Somehow. Sighing quietly, he grabbed a chair and set it next to her bed. Not too close in case she was uncomfortable, but just far enough where the distance wouldn’t bother her.

“Ask me.”

She looked startled. “Huh?”

“What you want to know about me,” he put his hands in his pockets and leaned back. His left ankle rested on his right knee. “Fire away.”

Mika blinked for several seconds and averted her gaze. It wasn’t difficult to assume she was choosing what exactly to ask, so Sam gave her time to think about it with carefully.

Nodding to herself she asked, “How old are you?”

He felt his mouth form the words “one hundred twenty years old”, but stopped himself before it happened. “Twenty six.”

“You were twenty two when we met?”

He nodded. She followed the gesture and continued.

“Favorite animal?”

“Dog. We have a Rottweiler at home named Sammy.”

She tilted her head to the side. One corner of her lips tugged up. “You named our dog Sammy?”

He raised his hands up in a defensive position. “Hey, don’t give me that look. You gave him that name because you thought it was funny if we both look at you when you call his name.”

She put her hand over her mouth and giggled. Soft and soothing to his ears. It was just a small gesture, but he felt immense happiness at the curve of her lips saved just for him at this moment. This was good. A step toward getting her to open up to him again. He felt the corner of his own lips curve into a smile.

“Wanna guess my favorite color?” He challenged with a laugh.

She gestured toward his green sleeveless letterman jacket, partially unbuttoned to reveal a bit of his green tank top and his green high tops. Her small smirk and laughter made him feel alive. “It’s not exactly hard to tell.”

A few moments of silence passed them as their laughter faded. His chest warmed at the sight of her cheeks tinted red knowing he was the reason for it. The atmosphere around them almost felt like nothing had changed.

“So,” she cleared her throat and fiddled with a few strands of her hair. There was a hesitant gleam in her eyes and he felt a little nervous about what she would say next. “I know this is going to sound like I don’t believe you. But … are we happy together?”

He swallowed and memories of their best moments together flashed in his mind. The first time she said she loved him. The first night they spent in each other’s arms. His joy of hearing her say yes when he proposed to her under the stars. A stream of tears when they finally declared their vows and slipped their rings onto their fingers.

Sam turned to Mika, a fond smile on his lips yet his heart ached. “Yeah. Very happy.”

Clearing his throat he decided to try a different approach. “Does your phone still work?”

She reached into the drawer next to her, the familiar purse he remembered buying her for her twenty first birthday was inside. With a raise of her brows, she pulled out her phone as if she was seeing it for the first time and then handed it to him. There was a weblike crack on the screen and when he held down the power button he wasn’t surprised it was in desperate need of a recharge. Instead, he pulled out his own phone and went to an app Mika frequently used and handed it to her.

“That’s Instagram?” She stared at it, wide-eyed. “Four years really does make a difference.”

He stood a little closer to her so that he could guide her around. “If you press on followers and search for your name we could find your profile.”

After a few seconds of figuring out where her name was, they finally found it.

“There you go,” he leaned back a little so that he could peer over her shoulder. “You post a lot of pictures and videos, so if you want to see what we’re like together this is your best bet.”

She carefully scrolled down to see how many pictures she had and then went back to her recent post: the pictures she took on their date that happened before her accident.

In her caption she wrote about spending her time with her favorite man in two sentences and added a few hashtags relating to it—which was something he still didn’t understand. There were eight pictures, varying from the dinner and dessert they ate to the admittedly good angles of him when he wasn’t paying attention. It was only toward the end that he remembered there was a video, and Mika waited patiently for it to load.

 _“Are_ — _are you recording?”_ Sam’s flustered voice echoed from the phone.

 _“Maybe.”_ Mika angled the camera’s view so that they were both in frame, a sly smirk on her face.

He made a doubtful hum as she looped her other arm around his. They were walking around the city, bellies full and lungs filled with laughter. The street lights illuminated their faces in its golden glow which Mika’s camera phone couldn’t capture as exact as he had seen it with his own eyes. The people that passed by eyed their odd antics, but he didn’t care. He was with his wife.

 _“Turn it off.”_ He huffed with a pout.

 _“Nope.”_ She went on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

His eyes grew wide in surprise but vanished quickly when he lunged for her and ruffled her hair knowing she hated when he did that.

 _“Ah!”_ She exclaimed that adorable squeal he loved and the camera moved around frantically as she tried to get away. When the camera was stable again they were back in their original position.

Sam chuckled, moving a few strands of her hair out of her face with a gentle sweep. _“You should know by now that whatever you do to me I’ll be sure to exact revenge.”_

 _“Yeah, yeah. I know.”_ She tilted her chin up enough for him to bend down and plant a kiss on her lips. _“I love you, dork."_

_“I love you too, doofus.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All righty. So. Second chapter you have all waited for, and here it is. I promised myself to at least finish it before September ended yet here I am lol. Anyway, this chapter for me was difficult to write because for once I actually had to write what it was like in Sam's perspective as he went to work, something we don't see in the Seduce Me games. I had to create an irritable boss with a background story so that he could sort of relate to Sam in his own way. I had to at least bridge this gap of their rocky relationship since Sam was already going through a rough time and he didn't need anymore stress at work.  
> But most importantly, I had to write Sam as a nervous wreck, wondering what he should say to Mika because he was afraid to say the wrong thing that would have potential for her to not trust him. And that was so. Difficult. It occurred to me today, as I was editing the last few words that sounded off, that I've only wrote Sam in situations where he's already together with Mika. While that's not a bad thing, I just realized that I've never wrote him as the stumbling tsundere we all see in the first game, and so I struggled to convey how anxious he was through his narrative and the way he presented himself. I hope I did a good job when you read this chapter. On another note I really like the way I've been writing Mika's mom and I'm really proud about how supportive she is toward Sam in this obstacle in his life. She's great.  
> And I need to thank my editor again for putting up with me lolol


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